Gabon Africa 2010

So I have pretty much concluded that the bugs here in Africa are laughing at me as they continue to torture me. Its kinda funny considering every bite I get has a different reaction. Yesterday one on my leg swelled up my calf and tonight was even funnier as currently my knuckle and finger are swollen up like a monsters hand. Weirdest feeling,and I am rather frusterated at African ants. And the mosquitoes finally attacked my face leaving me with four bites. So I pretty much love bugs more than anything :) 


This morning was unforgettable. We traveled to Okolassi again to help with the church plant and to play with the kidoes :) Last year our team helped lay some foundation and level dirt at this church plant so it was super exciting to see all the progress that was made over the last year. They built cement support posts and the wood structure to attach the tin roof to. Today the task was to paint the boards with termite repellent and then start attaching the roof. Many of us who weren't up on the ladders spent our time making crafts and playing with the kids. They made bird and fish necklaces with glitter and goggly eyes :) ... It was priceless to see the Joy they had taking part in these simple activities. The faces of all of these children are unforgettable. The hardest part is when you have to say goodbye. 


I find that one of the greatest feelings in the world is holding a small child. The realization that no matter the race, gender, living situation or any other difference every child is God's and was made in His image. There is truly nothing like the faith of a small child. I love the verse in the bible that talks about us living like a small I am so inspired by these kids and the sparkle that is in their eyes and smile. God has placed a special love in my heart for His kids and I hope that in some way He will use that in His will for my life. 


There was one small boy today that caused me to think about my actions. He was probably around 1.5 years old or 2 and I watched him fall onto the ground gently. I decided to pick him up to take him over to make a craft and I set him on my lap. It wasn't until a few minutes later when I set him down next to me that I realized he was not wearing a diaper and I had his accident on my tank top. I wasn't so much disgusted by it being on my tank top as I was disgusted by the smell of the little boy. I walked over a bit later to get some water and was disappointed in my reaction to this child. It wasn't his fault that he was in the current situation and no matter the smell he was still God's perfect little child. So even though the smell was unlovely this small boy showed me once again that God loves the unlovely things about us. And if I want to live like Jesus would I should love him and treat him no differently. It just really affected me and made me rethink my actions towards unlovely, or uncomfortable situations. Holding this small boy was more than enough joy for the bit of smell that was covering him. He was sure cute too :) 


There was another small child named Jessica and her smile could light up a room. I just loved holding her as she wrapped her arms around my neck and tryed to speak to me in French. She was adorable. The way I feel when I am holding a small child reminds me a lot of a metaphor of us and the Lord. We are his children and he loves to hold us. And more than that he wants us to depend on him, love him, and cling to him with our arms around his neck. He offers us unconditional love no matter the "accidents" we have in life. And like the feeling I had saying goodbye to Jessica, I don't think God wants to ever let us go. He just wants to hold us and be with us and teach us things if we take the time to listen. I want my relationship with Christ to reflect these things. Our God is so amazing. 


"All I need is you Lord."


Our jobs at Okolassi were completed so this Sunday this will begin to worship at their new church under cover. What a praise to God! And what a picture of God's hands and feet here in Gabon. A village that a little over a year ago was without a single believer. And another great part about this testimony is that the whole project was led by a Gabonese team of people. :) We just get the wonderful opportunity to be a part of it! How great and mighty our God is!

A struggle I have felt more recently over the last few months has been finding just reading scripture and not actually being blown away by these words that came from God! And so today I asked my older sister for some advice. And as we talked about it I was very inspired by what she said. She explained that she thinks today we have so many other spiritual people writing books and making bold statements that its easy to look to them to make the bible interesting but then we forget how Holy and Powerful God really is. And most profound she said we need to realize that God alone needs to be enough for us. In a society where we have much wealth compared to the world its probably hard to really grasp that concept and accept it. But God alone really is enough when all else is stripped away. If we have nothing else but Him that is all we need. I think he is showing me that here as I search through my thoughts and read His mighty words. He is bigger than I will ever understand and I think that is part of the beauty of our Lord.




"The Lord merely spoke and the heavens were created. He breathed the word, and all the stars were born. He assigned the sea boundaries and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs. Let the whole world fear the Lord and let everyone stand in awe of him. For when he spoke the world began! It appeared at his command." Psalms 33:6-9


Have a wonderful night! God Bless! <3


P.S. I ate my first bean sandwich today!

I find myself tonight in the most content and peaceful place that I have been on this trip thus far. I know for certain that God brought me here for a purpose he knew how much I needed to be here. And tonight I feel more than ever like I am standing face to face with my Creator, Father, Provider, Savior, and Best Friend. He is here and He is holding me. 
About four months ago I was in a place of uncertainty. I felt God's call back to Gabon but feared many of the steps required to get me here. 1. Flying alone and in general. 2. Eating weird food. 3. Being far away with no one from home. As I talked with Kristy and prayed with her I realized that I couldn't let these silly fears hold me back from God's will. So I prayed to God that if he wanted me to go back that he would provide the necessary funds and give me the strength to go. As you know our God is faithful and He has been more than gracious in this experience. God provided the funds necessary through a fundraiser, the church, and church members. He allowed me to fly with others. He has given me all the strength necessary to be here in Gabon far away from family and home. I will let the inserts from my journal entry do the rest of the speaking...

"Come be the fire inside of me, be the flame upon my heart." Lord I realize that I do not have to life my life in fear of danger, change, uncertainties. I should remove all the fear in my life except for the fear of God. Which I don't think I completely understand, but I want to. So much of my life has been held back from fear and relying on others for strength when necessary. And as the biggest chapter of my life is about to begin bringing much change, I am confident that I will be okay because you are holding me and will provide me with all the strength necessary if I put my trust, hope and faith in you alone. Why should I fear humanity when I am confident I will be with you in eternity someday.  That means I want to choose the road less taken the one with risks, uncertainties, uncomfortableness (not sure if thats a word), surprises and it will surely lead to the greater outcome as I follow you as a servant, willing to do the unpredictable to be obedient to your calling and perfect will. Father being independent for now gives me time to search to the ends of your heart and to walk hand in hand with you like I never have before. I need not fear when you are my shepherd. This trip is just a chapter of my life and you are here in all the details if I actively search for you. If I call to you and step our in faith I am certain I will fall directly into your arms. Father make me more reliant on you. You give me what I need to survive, so I pray I would each day wake up and depend on you for every breath that I take because each one if truly a miracle given by you Lord. I am yours alone. You are my foundation and I ask that you would continue to build me brick by brick to be more like you. You are the builder and the author of me. I am merely a pencil to be used to further your kingdom here on earth. Purify my heart and my desires. Please take away all distractions that take my eyes off of you. All of my own selfish desires, dreams, plans, all of the fears, worries and walls that satan places on my heart. Break them down, carry them away and please Lord fill my cup overflowing with your holy spirit. Lord help me to live in the now. Full of your joy, continually looking to you for satisfaction and to live as you would. Father thank you for the amazing people you have brought into my life through this experience. Thank you for the continual blessings you pour out in my life. I want to respond to your love with love for others. I am a vapor in the wind, you are forever. Please lead me Lord, I am so excited for everything you are and every moment you will give me. Break me, change me and make me new. I desire to be transformed by this experience. Make me bold so I may point others to you with your strength, set my life on fire for you so others might ask where I find my joy and happiness and I can faithfully tell them in you alone. :) You are my shield. Your faithfulness never leaves me. I don't deserve you but I love you Lord. 


I read through Isaiah 49-51 in my quiet time which further revealed all of these things in my heart. Our God is so good! The joy of the Lord is my strength! I feel so full of peace and joy, like God flushed out my system and renewed my soul. As these new pages of my life are turning I know that I am God's hands and he is carrying me if I place my trust in him. I am learning so much in my time here. I miss you all very much and I pray God would continue to work in your hearts and lives. Thank you for your love and prayers. God Bless :)


"Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him... Fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out." Romans 12:1-2 (The Message)

P.S. Today at the Hope House Bumba, a younger boy did my hair, it looked like a marvelous rats nest on top of my head. :) I will be sure to put the picture up on facebook at some point. Gotta love those kids, especially when they all start chanting your name. For some reason Natasha sounds so much cooler in French. lol. God is love. 


:)

Today was Incredible, Amazing, and full of so many blessings! Couldn't have asked for a better day! We were up by 6am and off to Nzeng-Ayong by 7. When we arrived at the church there was only 4 of their members. So we went into the church to pray about the day, giving everything to God and praying that more help would show up. Within the next hour there was probably 40 people at least. Praise God! It felt like Deja Vu from last year as the cement process took place, the task of the day to pour the second story floor in their church. And the cement mixing by hand of course! The whole situation sorta made me think of an old fashioned barn raising! There is teamwork, the fellowship is unlike anything I have ever experienced in the U.S. they are always singing and dancing even while they work. The dancing is so much fun to watch! And everything is just so happy even when they are mixing cement. They have a source of Joy that I feel like is unseen in the states if that makes sense. My descriptions cannot do the situation justice. I just know that today I was sitting on the steps looking at everything around me and I couldn't have been more thankful to be there in that very moment, with my Gabonese brothers and sisters, its one of those feelings that makes me want to come back again and again. Like a little glimpse of heaven on earth. :) And it felt so much like last year, especially when all the kids I have kept in touch with over the last year showed up. So exciting!


I saw so many familiar faces and it wasn't until after lunch that I really started to visit with them. Half of our family left for back home but I stayed behind to spend more time with all of them. It was so terrific! I was able to visit and reconnect with many Gabonese. One of the girls Emanuelle braided my hair :) And another did Cait's. It was great to bond and catch up with them. Then I spent time talking with some of the guys they taught me some more french. It was just the most uplifting and fun afternoon. We took lots of pictures and struggled through frenglish conversations :) I really believe that one of the greatest things that God has showed me on this trip is that we have no greater opportunity on earth than fellowship and friendship with other people. I want to prioritize my life with God at the center and then to love people. To build meaningful, lasting relationships with people. As Papa Tim put it, "People are the only thing we will take to heaven with us." To stop and actually think about that statement, (which for some reason was new to me for the first time) it really makes you revaluate your priorities and actions. And spending time with my Gabonese sisters and brothers made this so much more real and applicable for me. I know that someday in heaven I will have many Gabonese sisters and brothers that I took the time to connect with in this short time on earth! How cool is that! 


So as I look ahead to each new day and into the future as a new chapter in my life unfolds, I want to make lasting relationships and to devote time and energy to spending time with God first and then people. I feel like its so easy to waste time with all the distractions of life but I also want to change and be affected by the things God is placing on my heart. God filled me with so much Joy today it was wonderful! All this to say today I didn't accomplish much work but I spent time with my brothers and sisters in Christ and focused on people over project, something that is encouraged here each day that we work with the Gabonese people. :)  


One of the mama's served us an extra meal of rice, manioc, bananas, gazelle, porcupine and manioc leaves. Being nervous, I stuck with rice and bananas but I did eat some of the gazelle! And it was pretty good. I was just glad that God gave me the strength to try something new. We left Nzeng-Ayong late afternoon and came home for street food and movies. :) And we had to say goodbye to the Straws because Megan and Joey are headed to Cameroon. It was hard but glad we were able to see them and give them hugs! God is so good! Thank you for your prayers. I hope you are having a great week full of God's blessings. Today was one of my favorite thus far. Please pray that I will continue to actively listen to God's voice each day. 


Love you all! 

Yay! Today we celebrated our sister Bethany's 20th Birthday! For breakfast they fixed chocolate chip pancakes and french toast with lots of fresh fruit! It was delicious. Last night Cait and I made many wonderful birthday signs to hang around the house. I had much energy last night and as a result a few pictures contained turkeys wearing baseball caps and sharks eating some minnows. I also drew about 10 little Bethany stick figures and hid them throughout the house sorta like wheres waldo situation. So today she was found in the fridge, riding a giraffe, and chilling on the ceiling fan and some other random places :) I thought it was a great idea... :) ... so then this morning we went to the Gabonese market and bought some lovely fabric I am super excited. The market is always an interesting situation. Pretty much the equivalent to their mall with much chaos. Tons of people crowd in the streets selling all sorts of things. Last year it was a huge culture shock for me. But knowing what to expect it was a bit less intense this time. There was a very "this is Africa" moment when we returned to find our parked cars with locks on the wheels. So we patiently waited and I went with Liz and Eric back to the market and Eric treated us to some soft serve ice cream, it was delicious in the hot sun! So Papa Tim came and rescued us, the 19 of us piled into the 14 passenger van, this put us at the unofficial "Gabonese Taxi" status we felt pretty cool. 

Good evening! It was another spectacular day here in the heart of Africa. I woke up around 9 and had a relaxing morning here at the Envision center, I decided to read Dr. David Thompson's book, "On Call." It is such a great book and testimony of the ways that God has worked in his heart and life. His testimony is quite astounding. While in college his parents missionaries, died at the hands of Northern Vietnamese soldiers. They were literally gunned down. Reading this caused me to stop and think about that. As Christians we are called to live as sacrifices for the Lord wherever that might take us even if it means being a martyr. The thought of that scares me so so much, mostly because I question how strong my faith would be in a situation like that. Its just one of those things that you cannot even fathom. But I pray I would live my life as a continual sacrifice to our Lord and King and stand strong in my faith through all circumstances. 


I continue to be blown away by the words I can hear, see, and feel God placing on my heart and life. To be honest I know that what I need most in my life at this moment is to be humble before our Lord. Reading Dr. Thompson's book he tells a story about the frusteration he had years ago when he ended up digging half of a grave for one of his patients because other people refused to help when he asked them too. He then closed that chapter by saying that God showed him that just because he was a doctor didn't mean he was too good to dig a grave. And how he believes that to be true of all of us. God doesn't define us by our career, gender or sex. He only sees us by whether we are willing or unwilling, humble or proud. No matter your place in this life if you are serving the Lord nothing should be too low or too degrading to take part in if it will bring glory to His name. 


We spent our afternoon at the Hope House spending time dancing, singing, and playing with the children. Many of them were playing soccer too. (using the goals Shelby built for his senior project last year.) These kids bring me such joy and I am pretty sure I would take them all back home with me if I could!  :) The team arrived tonight they seem great they are from the Mong church in Wisconsin. We had cheeseburger pie and french fries!! for dinner yummy...  :) then we met for debrief. 



I found myself in a very ironic situation tonight that I found interesting after being affected by the particular chapter of Dr. Thompson's book above. We were sitting down to worship as a family when one of our sisters asks if anyone will give her a foot massage. Some people chuckled or didn't hear her but I did and my response was to turn to her and ask, "Um, are your feet clean? If they are I will." She then said something profound once again that made me think about my choice of words and the way I was looking at the current situation. Dirty or clean the question should have been was I willing to serve. We will come across many unlovable people in this world and its up to us whether we will humble ourselves and serve the Lord. I then proceeded to go over to her and give her a foot massage for the next half an hour during worship. And I soon found myself in deep thought about what it would be like to sit at the feet of Jesus, worshipping Him and washing His feet. I mean, just imagine that! To me its incredible, and beautiful and I can't even imagine all the emotion I would be feeling sitting at the feet of the creator who formed me and has given me eternal life. Just think of the peace and joy that would be in your heart and soul. And yet, God gives us opportunities to serve Him each day, maybe not literally washing His or others feet but think of all the people you cross paths with in a day. As devoted followers of Christ we should strive to live like him, Jesus served the lowest of the low and loved the most unloveable people on earth and we ought to work to do the same. Dirty or clean, I had an opportunity to serve my sister. And as I worshipped and massaged her feet I felt the presence of God there. As silly as the situation sounds it really did make me think. To live as Christ is to live as a servant in any moment of everyday. Its not necessarily easy or comfortable but when you serve the least of these you serve Jesus. 


And the King will say, "I tell you the truth when you did it (feed, cloth, care for..etc) to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!" Matthew 25:40


 It is my desire that my perspective would be broken and changed by this experience. The words of one of the songs tonight, "Honestly" by a Carl Cartee, are fitting and beautiful. They put me in that perfect place where I was able to meet with God. Its those moments in life that I never forget because I know I am sitting directly in the palm of my Creator and He feels more alive then ever before. Hard to explain but the greatest feeling in the world! These lyrics are the prayers that are written on my heart at this very moment. Thank you again for your prayers and for taking the time to read this. Enjoy and be blessed! 




Could I let go of all that you’ve given If it meant that it all would be yours.
Could I sit at your feet, and forget about me, and remember what I’m here for.

Honestly I need to be broken
Honestly I need to fall down
Go ahead and shake my foundation 
Cause Honestly I’m figuring out 
that of all that I have, all that I need is you
honestly.

P.S. Thank you for your encouraging comments! Pictures take a really long time to upload on here so instead they are on my facebook. If you have any questions you can email me... [email protected], its easier to answer that way. Thanks again! God Bless!

I love those moments in life where you are so disoriented you don't know what time of day it is. And then once you figure it out all you can do is laugh at yourself.


 Today when we got back from the village clinic I crashed in my bed for a nice long nap. I ended up sleeping for a couple of hours until one of my sisters Allyson kindly woke me up to tell me it was 6:30 and we were ready to eat soon. I was SO confused (I bet my face expression was priceless) I then asked her where we were going so early...thinking it was tomorrow morning... Lol...She then proceeded to fill me in on the actual time of day and I laughed inside my brain a lot! Still too tired to actually function.


Dinner was delicious! Spaghetti and garlic bread. My food intake here is horrible! Most days I eat bread with peanut butter for two out of three meals and in between I have been snacking on my chocolate and cookies from home! :) They are running in short supply which is probably a good thing. 


The village this morning was quite eye opening for me. I decided to take a different approach to share what God has placed on my heart. I hope you enjoy it.


Dear God,


I am in Africa, the place I have been dreaming of being for months and you have brought me here. I don't want to forget that I am in Africa. And I don't like that I feel numb to the living conditions of your people here. I find that we drive by these broken down shacks made of wood and tin and it seems normal after seeing thousands in a day. Living conditions we in the states can first of all not even imagine and second, would never even approve of as a shed or living for our own animals. Children sit in the dirt, carry water from wells, and play with whatever means they have. It breaks my heart to know I cannot help each of them. But then again they know no different. This morning father those two young girls eating their breakfast, a full bodied fish, picking away the edible parts. Here most don't eat for social means but instead for sustainability, they don't dress to match but just to be clothed. And furthermore, I am aware that these conditions are not close to the worst of the world. Those who live with no clean water and their only clothing on their backs. Its hard for me to even imagine living in one of those houses father. I am too scared to even use their bathrooms. So for a moment I will try to picture life from the perspective of a Gabonese. 


"My house has four walls and a metal tin roof. I live here with my four siblings and parents and grandparents. We are having leftovers for breakfast, fish that dad was able to get last night. There are lizards and spiders crawling all around me and the house smells of dirt and the other odors of life float through like burned trash and urine. I wake up and there is no faucet to shower under no sink to pour a glass of water from. I walk down the road a bit to the community well to get the water necessary for life today. There is no light switch to turn on and no cupboard full of foods. My head aches but there is nothing mom and dad can do about it until the medical clinic visits us again. For now I will rest my head and pray."


This may not be completely realistic father but I am sure for some Gabonese and people around the world its very close to experiences they have everyday or even better than what they experience. God I want my heart to be broken every time I see the living conditions of these poverty stricken people. God I do not want to be numb to their situations. I wish I could learn of their stories. And I hope and pray they have you Jesus and that they have hope. These are your people, your children, created in your image and I want to be changed by the things I have seen and experienced here. I want to make changes in the way that I live my life. Finding myself at your feet, to be used by you father. It would not be fair for me to return unchanged by what I have seen and felt. Lord you have brought me here for a reason, provided all necessary for me to be here. I can feel you here, alive, and challenging my heart. But Please Lord change me, break me, and use me. Humble me so that I may be fully consumed in your love. Lord it is so easy to look ahead at future things and to plan what I will be doing and where. But I see and feel you saying, "...be patient, be here, live right now, you may make plans for your future daughter, but I will choose your steps. Pick up your cross daily and follow me and you will have the adventure of a lifetime each day. Find your joy and peace in me. Pursue me and come to me with all things big or small. I love you child more than you will ever know and I will never leave you. Love me and love others and I will provide every breath you take along the way." 


Lord, I don't want to be ashamed, I want to return to the states and to live on fire for you. It breaks my heart that people in the U.S. and around the world hear about you and your offer of eternal life and deny you time and time again. I want to live a life of boldness for you whether I am here in Africa or back in the states, you will use us where we are at. I need you and I desire to know you more. I pray for each person that reads this Father that you would work in their hearts and that their perspectives might be changed too Father. It is no accident that I am here and no accident that they are taking the time to read this. Thank you for the continual blessings you pour out into my life I pray I would live a life that would glorify you Lord. Thank you! I love you Father. Speak into our lives and help us to be open and obedient to your will Lord. Lord there is no other place in the world that I would want to be right now, I am in your palm and you carry me. Father I know I will never understand all the hurt, brokeness, or complications of this temporary life but I pray that I would seek you and live to the fullest in each moment that you give me. You are indescribable. <3


Love Always,
Your Daughter...Natasha Anne Kamps

Hello! I am completely exhausted from today but it was well worth it. We headed out on the open road around 9am over some bumpy roads to the a forest that has been set aside. There was about four vans full of people! Everyone here at the Envision center, the Straws, Kellys, and another missionary family and Pastor Jacobs family. And we headed into the forest for a nature hike. It was very gorgeous seeing all the different trees and fun to bond with all the different people. :) After a bit we went back to our vans and back tracked a bit to a different bumpy road that led to the most stunning beach, Santa Clara! You may have seen some of our pictures from last year. Palm trees line the beach in both directions its honestly like paradise! After eating some Pringles I decided to join some of my brothers and sisters in the water. It was a combination of swimming, treading water, getting salt water in my nose and mouth, body surfing, and being swept back to shore by the powerful waves. For some reason I couldn't get the concept of plugging my nose down and as a result kept coughing as water attacked my face. I am not the greatest swimmer but I still enjoyed it very much, it was intense, the waves kept getting more powerful, almost violent as they tried to sweep us back to shore. It took a lot of strength to stay out in the water but it was great exercise. I was having a great conversation with my sister Vicky, (we decided we are kindred spirits, we both like to drink hot water and have found many other random things in common :) lol) .. anyways she was mid sentence when a huge wave came and knocked me pretty much to the shore so I decided that was the end of my water time and went back up on the beach. I layed down on a towel under the warm sun and drifted into thought. 


My sinuses were painfully clear and I could still taste my daily intake of sodium in my mouth reminding me of the mighty strength of the waves I was just in. I began to compare the different kind of waves to the experiences I have had in life and will someday have. I sat there just listening to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. So thunderous, mighty, powerful, and just a plain incredible force of nature that God created! These waves have incredible force on our bodies, they have the power to sweep us away, or just float by. And they are under the direction of God's hands. Much like our lives; we will have waves of turmoil, serenity, joy, and crazyness but no matter where the waves of life take us God is still the director of them. The feeling of not being able to control oneself when being swept away is much like realizing God will determine the steps of our lives no matter how confusing it may seem. I am at a crossroads in my life and there are many decisions ahead of me which at times seem overwhelming but God is showing me that He already has my steps planned out if I let him carry me. It was just a reassurance for me that my faith and trust in God will lead me to where He wants me. Which is a comfort as I look at all the uncertainties that lie ahead.  


"What do I know of you, who spoke me into motion, where have I even stood but the shores along your ocean. Are you fire? Are you fury? Are you sacred? Are you Beautiful?" - Addison Road Lyrics - What Do I Know of Holy


The rest of afternoon was peaceful and we headed back home at 4pm. Tonight we had a surprise birthday party for Missionary Alace Straw and her amazing daughter Megan here at the Envision center. We screamed surprise as they came in and took part in eating 25 pizzas with all the other missionary families. African pizza isn't quite Dominos or Little Ceasars but they do a pretty swell job. :) One African styled pizza is a breakfast pizza with ham and cheese. Its surprisingly good! After dinner there was a special presentation brought to us by Jon-Marc, Mariah and Vicky! It was an orignal birthday song, they sang it beautifully! Or in Alace's words, they really "broke it down." Lol it was a great time of fellowship and we had cake and cookies for dessert! The Straws are here in Libreville to fly the plane to and from Bongolo. They are such a great family! Megan will be a freshman in high school and this Sunday her and her brother Joey are headed to Cameroon where they will attend boarding school. So we had to celebrate early. It was a fantastic night!


 Tomorrow we head out to a village for the day to work in the mobile medical clinic so it should be great! And a team from Wisconsin gets in tomorrow night so things will be moving a bit quicker while they are here. Thank you for your continued prayer and support I want to end by sharing a few verses I read tonight that really caught my attention. It is my prayer that you and I would grow in our faiths, deepen our relationship with the Lord, and live as Jesus would. 


Growing in Faith:
"May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord. By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know Him, the one who called us to Himself by means of His marvelous glory and excellence....In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God's promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self control, and self control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone."
2 Peter 1: 2-3, 5-7


Live with Love. Love God, Love people. God Bless!


:) 

My day began with me stubbing my toe on a suitcase and then sorta slamming my finger in a door and later I managed to hit my hand on the dryer and hit my head on the cupboard while doing dishes! One of those days ya know? But still it was great! This morning was such a blessing. We had the opportunity to go to the Hope House around 9am. When we got there the children were running around. I recognized many of them but names were a challenge with so many faces. They live in a much larger and nicer house than last year which made me happy for them. There are about 27 children that are living there right now. Each one with their own story. The family that has been here for the last few days brought two huge duffle bags full of gifts and t-shirts from their friends in Colorado. It felt like Christmas in July as the kids dug through all their new toys. There was yoyo's, jump ropes, soccer balls, jacks, cards, markers and coloring books, drawing pads, and many other fun toys! They were so excited! So we were able to spend time playing with the kids. I went into one room where there were a bunch of desks and I ended up spending the next couple hours with about 5 of the kids. I would color a picture for them and they would color one for me. I would teach them English words and they taught me the French words. I learned to count to twenty in French! Haha I was pretty excited it was just such a great way to get to know them and to just spend time with them. We also took many many pictures! Josue, Chris, Chris, Elijah, Sabrina, Grace, and Masunda were the children coloring with me. I am pretty sure one of the drawings is me getting married to one of the boys HAHA! Made me laugh. They are so great, it is such a great place for those kids to be, where they are immersed in the love of Jesus and given love and support for their futures. I believe that the time I spent with the kids this morning was God's way of showing me that one way I can give more of myself to Him is giving Him more of my time. It was definitely one of the high lights of the trip so far! And I cannot wait till we go there again! The rest of the day was pretty relaxing, I took a nice long nap, and we watched some movies. Then we had a delicious dinner of chicken sandwiches and salad! Our dinner conversations were muffled by the rain hitting the tin roof above us. (One more almost accident as I almost fell down the outside stairs :) ) After dinner we played the game signs and had many good laughs and watched Slum Dog Millionaire... And now it is time for bed. It has been a wonderful day and I hope you are all well. I love and miss you all very much and I cannot believe how quickly time is going by here. Thank you for your prayers. God Bless!

That was the quote on the inside of my Dove milk chocolate wrapper. :) It was very fitting with the events of tonight! 


This morning we went to Nzeng-Ayong for church and it was so wonderful to see some familiar Gabonese faces! (Update for all my past team members... the church is a very slow work in progress which probably doesn't surprise you. They have added steps to one side and a few other small things like finished the front bottom room for storage. This weekend we will be helping pour the second floor so thats exciting! When someone asked Pastor Jacob when the church will be finished his answer was, "Before Jesus comes back." Haha isn't he funny. I also talked with Dasse and Josue they say hello! The service was much like last year full of much energy but not quite the same dance party during offering unfortunately :) ) The preaching was in English again because there is a man here with his family who has stayed in touch with Pastor Jacob for almost twenty years! And they both named a kid after each other! Its so cool to see how they have stayed connected. He had a very moving message. He spoke about how God asks us to give more of ourselves than we normally would and God promises us in His scripture that He will pour out blessings into our lives. He spoke about how God has challenged Him and the ways that He has stepped out into faith to allow God to use what He has. It felt like he was talking to me directly. 


Being a part of an experience like this makes you rethink the way you live your life. After last year and especially right now I feel God challenging me to look for more ways to give to him. To give to him more than I ever have before and to find ways to change the way that I have been living my life. There has been many instances this year where I have felt this burden on my heart. I was reading Francis Chan's book Crazy Love and in it he tells of his families decision to sell their house and downsize giving the money to charity. He said many people told him he was crazy and ridiculous and not being fair to his family but Francis and his family have felt God pour out the blessings into their life since the down size and he has never looked back. I know thats a very large example and I don't own a house that I can sell but it causes an ache in my heart to want to do more with what resources I have been given. I know you have all heard the saying, "To whom much has been given much is expected." I have had many moments in life where I have asked myself the questions,"why I born into America?" ...where I have endless opportunities and more wealth than MUCH of the world and then theres all these other kids in Africa and around the world literally dying because of lack of clean water... they don't deserve that... and I don't deserve my circumstances any more than them. Its thoughts like these that make me desire more than anything to give more to God.  To take a risk and step out in faith! It makes me wonder how many other people in America could make small changes or big changes that would literally make a difference without causing any serious harm to their well being. It might mean sacrifice but if what we desire is to be like Christ then thats right on target. Christ was a perfect sacrifice for you and I so that we could share with Him in eternal life. And I know Jesus and I want others to know him too. And so I hope its not to much to ask each of you reading this to stop and think for a minute.... Maybe you haven't seen the needs of the orphans and widows face to face but there real and heart breaking... and maybe God isn't calling you overseas but maybe He has blessed you and maybe there is something in your life that you could give to Him. More than you ever thought comfortable...knowing that the God who created us, saved us, and rose from the dead and lives in us will bless us beyond anything we could ever imagine if we take the extra leap of faith. 

Change is possible.. and change happens one person at a time. I am not exactly sure what Christ is asking me to give to him. But I am praying that he would show me. And I am praying I would be willing to step out when I figure out what it is. Big or small I desire to change the way I live. And I know it won't necessarily be easy or comfortable.

One of my sisters said something in the car yesterday that really stuck out and it wasn't meant to be profound but I thought it was. We were talking about creating a slip n' slide theme park and how much fun they were and she was like, "I'm not okay with that. There's people dying from lack of water in the world and we are playing with ours." And I thought to myself ouch. Thats so true. I know that Whidbey or wherever you are reading this from is thousands of miles from African soil and children. But I also know that change requires action. What at Langley C&MA could we do as Christ followers to reach out more than we ever have before. I have always been encouraged by the willing hearts of all of you there are many lives being changed by the ministries already in place there but what more can we do? That will stretch our faith and give back to God to help those who don't live in as good of circumstances as you and I. Maybe this means giving more of your paycheck every week with the peace that God will provide or maybe there is a project somewhere that we could get involved with. Like building a well to provide clean water for a village or something else. All I am asking is that you would stop and think, really think and pray. And then see where the Lord leads. I am asking that God would reveal to me how I can give more to Him. The ache is real and its a burning desire in my heart. And I feel that the Lord has put it there for a reason so that I will be transformed by it. To humble myself before the Lord to be used by Him as a signpost of His love. Love is Christ's words in action. Please pray that God would show me how I can give more to Him. 

I am constantly feeling God's blessings poured out into my life, I know I have said this a lot but I am so thankful for each person that is here in Gabon. I know God has connected me to each one of them for a reason. :) Tonight we went to a get together at one of Pastor Jacob's extended family members house. We had a huge dance party as some of the Gabonese sang and played instruments it was a pretty fancy get together! They treat us so well! I was actually wiggling a bit out there...wasn't pretty but at least I tried! We ate a delicious meal and on the way home we had a family sing along to "Dancing Queen" and some other oldies. Such great bonding to belt out lyrics together :) I am looking forward to this week and trying to make the most of each moment. We are going to Hope House (the children's home), Nzeng-Ayong and Okolassi very familiar places from last year so I cannot wait to see how God has been working. I am so encouraged by the comments you leave and so grateful that you are reading these. If you have facebook I uploaded some pictures from the trip so far! I love and miss you all and I pray that God would challenge and speak to each one of you in this week. Thank you for your continued prayer and support! God Bless!


Luke 12:22-34  22Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]? 26Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? 27"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.30For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

 32"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.34For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Well this morning around 6am we said goodbye to Bongolo and it was bittersweet. The time was amazing especially for building relationships with my brothers and sisters and it was great to see how the Lord is alive and at work at the hospital. But I would have loved to stay a bit longer to spend more time with the missionaries and people there at the hospital. The ride home felt like a mixture of a roller coaster, donkey kong barrel racing, and the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland it was ridiculous. :) Half the time we were on the other side of the road and the other half we were swerving to avoid bumps and pot holes. Sleeping was impossible but I was so delirious that things were much funnier and I found myself in tears many times today from laughter. The car engine smelled horrible and at one point they stopped and all we saw was smoke and water... didn't seem like a good thing...lol... another crazy moment was when we passed this table and sitting on it was a HUGE dead snake! I mean huge! Like probably 8-10 feet long... we backed up to get a better look. Its head was chopped off and all I could think to myself was how glad I was that I didn't meet it in the jungle... because that would be bad news... for me :) Anyways that was eventful we made it home safe around 5 (couldn't be happier to see the ground) and had a pretty relaxed night since we were all exhausted. I am super excited for tomorrow we are going to church at Nzeng-Ayong! So that means I will get to see a lot of the Gabonese that our team worked with last year and all of the kids I have kept in contact with :) 


I am very tired now and not exactly sure if my thoughts are making since but I just wanted to share some verses that I read tonight that encouraged me. Over the past year I have really felt the need to pursue God with all my heart and soul. That's exactly what He wants from us a willingness to bow at His feet and to cling to Him with our anything and everything. It has been a constant struggle for me to dig deep into scripture and more recently on this trip I have felt the desire to memorize more scripture and to really devour the words of the Lord. I think far too often I just read to read instead of letting the words of our Creator, Savior, and Father really sink in. These are His words and I want them to set a fire in my heart to live a life of love with a servants heart like Jesus did. And so as I read tonight I came across some verses that really sunk deep in my heart. Reminding me of the importance of God's words, how to pursue Him and why. I hope in some way that these words might also encourage you.


"People are like grass, their beauty is like a wild flower in the field. The grass withers and the flower fades. But the word of the Lord remains forever." - 1 Peter 1:24-25


"Come close to God and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, purify your hearts. Your loyalty is divided between God and the world." - James 4:8


"He personally carried our sins in His body on the cross, so that we can be  dead to sin and live for what is right. By HIS wounds YOU are healed. Once you were like sheep that wandered away. But now you have turned to your Shepherd, the Guardian of your souls." - 1 Peter 2:24-25



Love and miss you all and God Bless! I hope you have a wonderful night :)