Family and Friends,
Its such a weird feeling to be back home. I am kinda in a place of mixed emotion as I continue to process all that God showed me over the last greatest month of my life. It really was transforming and now I have to figure out how all those truths affects changes that I need to make in my life.
I feel like I never left home and that the month was just a really good dream! But I am sure slowly as I catch up on my sleep things will become more real. Right now I am randomly waking up in the middle of the night for a couple hours and then I fall back asleep. Fun Stuff. Then during the day I randomly get all restless and feel like I don't know what to do with myself. I think I am driving myself and my parents crazy. I kinda feel like a chicken running around with its head cut off in all different directions. By that I mean I am excited for what God has for this next chapter of my life, but filled with sadness that I am away from my amazing new family members. Talking to them and looking at pictures is the only thing that fills the gigantic hole that is in my heart. I know only God can fill it with his holy spirit. I am praying that He will fill me with compassion because its so hard to feel like anyone can understand what I am feeling and all that I experienced over the last month. Endless words and pictures can't fully explain the people or experiences. I will be so excited to visit and see my new family sometime in the future!
But then despite all these restless feelings I simultaneously feel full of Joy and peace. And I feel that more than ever before I am standing right where God wants me. In the center of His perfect will. Like all the burdens have been lifted and He will continue to walk side by side with me if I continue to pursue Him each new day. And it feels so wonderful! So all this to say you are probably confused now which is about right where I am at. I think this whole process will just take time. I am so thankful for all of you and your patience and willingness to listen to me share stories with you.
I leave for college in 2.5 weeks and I already know that God has blessed me with roommates that are actively seeking after God which will be such a blessing as I continue to sort through all that I am learning. God has poured out so many blessings into my life and I deserve none of them.
He is such a great God and I am amazed each new day by how much more he knows about me and my needs than I do. He brought me to Gabon and knew the healing and renewal that I needed and would experience in my time there. He knew he would shake me and alter me leaving me with a new perspective. And I am just so in love with all that He is as I continue to search for more and more of Him. It isn't going to be easy but I know that it is what I desire more than anything in my life. I want to be filled with Him. It is by His power alone that I take each breath and each step. And I know He is more than enough for me. So I know that the transition and all that I have learned will be a part of my walk with God over the next few months and will probably affect the rest of my life. And so I will continue to blog and see where the Lord leads.
Here is the link if you are interested I will probably put up my first entry in the next week sometime.
http://www.takeupyourcrossfollowme.blogspot.com/
Thanks again for all the prayer and support. I am so blessed to have people like you in my life. I pray God would continue to surround you and your family with His perfect love and will. God Bless!
Sincerely,
Natasha Kamps
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